more, and then more

a whole year later...

Well, a year later I am married and a Grand Valley student pursuing a whole new career in Biomedical Studies...which makes sense considering biology and medicine have always been my two main interests. My significant other, while still that indeed, has also transformed into a husband, and mine at that! While my transformation into "wife" is also all part of a process in life. I seem to be learning more about this process as time goes on and I read what others have gone through in my position. To be wife and friend and daughter and sister and student all at once at times still throws me for a loop to the point of exhaustion and defeat...but then I get right back up and do it again the next day. I feel that all of these roles demand a little something different of me, and I am in a state of adjusting to each as the situation requires, a facinating phenomenon to be sure.

A good-intentioned friend compared my situation to experiences she has had living with roomates that drive her crazy or make her happy and how those adjustments will help her when it comes to marriage (indicating incidentally that she may not have all the trouble I have had at times). However, though these experiences will undoubtedly help, I do not think that it quite compares to the magnitude, even I was unprepared for, encountered in a marriage. You see, imagine if you will that relationship many have had with roommates. Money, time, and space and all the little fetters dealt with when it comes to cleaning and decorating and bedtime all come into play to be sure...but add onto it the idea that you will be sharing not only your living quarters, but your entire LIFE with that person for all of the remainder of said LIFE. You might find yourself thinking, when your roommate turns up that annoying music just a little too loud...again even though you just talked to them about that yesterday, that the bright side is that you only have to deal with it for another year, 2 years, six months, whatever the case may be. Now imagine that you do not have that "escape", that "out" with time. Imagine thinking that you have to deal with it or get used to it because it will not go away with time, the situation, the person, the habits...they are all there for life! Now that's just a small thing...imagine also adding onto that issues that have to do with your future. Whether or not you find a job affects your "roommate" as well. How your roommate handles stress may play into your children's futures, whether you go on vacation or not and where you go largely depends on said "roommate"...your past, present, and future are all intertwined with this person you are living with...then ALSO add onto the idea that after you deal with these issues day to day and minute to minute that at the end of the day they are also the person you (mainly) depend on for comfort and intimacy. Suppose you fight with your roommate about this month's rent, well then suppose that same day you would like to (pardon the crudity) "get laid" or at least make out for a while or have a goodnight kiss even. You then have to deal with the issues brought up that day or set them aside in a fashion that suits both of you before you can continue on with intimate happenings of the night. Yes, you learn to live with a roommate and that can be a huge adjustment worthy of bumping your life and feelings around a bit...but the magnitude of dealing with a marriage...again being roommate, friend, spouse, student, and "lover" to this other person, and them to you...is on a whole other level that will jar even someone who has had much experience living with all different people. It's not just living with them that is the biggest adjustment, it's learning how to share you life with them...money, jobs, sex, your futures, where you want to live, how you relate to your families, children, what side of the bed to sleep on...etc.etc.  Really when it comes down to it who washes the dishes at the end of the day is the least of things that you worry about.

-Keri-

You Are 30 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

Well, it seems I have matured since I last took this test. Before I was only 27 and now I have reached the big 3-0. Interestingly enough, I am still only 21 in real life. However, my significant other is 30, so perhaps we're on the same page. I would like to see what age he turns out to be though, I may actually be older than him afterall :)  I haven't been to this website in over 6 months, it's hard to believe. I used to update it all of the time. I have so much of the last 2 years of my life documented on this webpage. From my thoughts and feelings at the time to the music I listen to and the books I was reading. Perhaps I should keep in touch with myself more often. Now that Myspance and Facebook have so many bells and whistles, it's nice to think of a site where I can simply record my thoughts. until next time...

~Keri Lynne~

Currently Listening Motorcade of Generosity By Cake jesus wrote a blank check see related

Well, i don't have much to write about and I just painted my nails, so typing is proving to be more work than it should be. My first full week of school is this week. I am dreading it. I finished one class so far, and because I did not have to work today, it wasn't so bad. I already have a horrible assignment due next week and my more difficult classes haven't even started yet. I get really worried about the ones where I have to actually act like a nurse and make decisions about people's lives and how to care for them so they don't die...why did I think this would be a good profession again?? Sometimes I really wonder. I've been that way lately. As soon as I think I've made an important decision and have carefully considered enough options to be sure about that decision something comes along to make me question it and want to start looking and considering all over again! : P blah. So, what to do? Stick with the decision that you've made, or retreat and start all over again just in case you find something better?? Neither option seems like a good one. hello rock, hello hard place...I hate both of you so BACK OFF. I must not be making sense anymore. Oh well. I think I'll get away from the glare of the computer for a while and escape into Lord of the Rings again. I still have 50 pages to go before the end of the first book. I was so hoping to finish it before the semester started. eh, off I go anyway

Keri Lynne